The Stand-In Date

I once went on a date with a young lady from a wealthy family as a stand-in for my rich playboy friend.

When it was time to pay the bill, the waiter looked down at me and said, "Sir, you don't have enough money!"

And when I took out my card, her next words made me so embarrassed that I wanted to dig a four-bedroom, one-living-room apartment out of the ground and crawl into it. She said, "I'm sorry, we don't accept debit cards!"