Chapter 10: First Day on the Job (Part 4)
Emma Craven sat at the large kitchen table, pen in hand, a sheet of cream-colored paper in front of her, and her second cup of coffee already half-empty. Mrs. Whitmore occupied the chair opposite her, arms crossed, watching with the expression of someone who had seen the world turn on its axis several times and was still surprised by humanity’s ability to create problems.
The silence was broken only by the occasional rustle of paper and the distant ticking of a wall clock. Emma wrote in determined, slanted handwriting, pausing now and then to bite the end of her pen and reread what she had just put on the page.
She began like this:
Official Report on the Qing Vase Incident
Date: First Official Day of Employment
Location: Main Living Room, Ross Manor
Person Responsible for the Incident: Emma Craven (and, partially, her left elbow)
Witnesses: None at the moment of impact. Mrs. Whitmore arrived shortly afterward. Mr. Nicco Ross arrived three minutes later.
Description of Events:
At approximately 10:47 a.m., the undersigned was carrying out the task of dusting the upper shelf in the main living room, in accordance with instructions received from Mrs. Whitmore. The method employed involved holding the feather duster at a forty-five-degree angle and using gentle, continuous movements without applying excessive pressure to the objects.
It was then that a small spiderweb was detected in the upper-right corner of the shelf. The web was nearly invisible to the naked eye, but its existence represented a potential risk of future infestation. Considering that spiders, when present in large numbers, can cause distress and, consequently, noise (albeit indirectly, through human reactions), and further considering that Mr. Ross values silence, the undersigned deemed it necessary to eliminate the threat immediately.
While stretching to reach the web, the left elbow—a limb with a documented family history of bad luck (see maternal grandfather, who knocked over an entire cabinet of porcelain in 1987)—made involuntary contact with the base of the Qing Dynasty vase. The vase, which had remained stable for approximately three hundred years, wobbled. The undersigned attempted to catch it with both hands. The vase, however, appeared to have developed a will of its own and opted for a downward trajectory toward the marble floor.
The impact resulted in the complete fragmentation of the piece. Preliminary count: thirty-seven sizable pieces and countless smaller fragments. One of the decorative birds was split in half and, honestly, is still looking at me judgmentally.
Immediate Measures Taken Following the Incident:
1. An exclamation of regret at a controlled volume.
2. An attempt to gather the shards with bare hands (interrupted by Mrs. Whitmore’s arrival).
3. Mental preparation of possible methods of restitution, including gluing, replacement, and additional unpaid work.
4. Presentation of a full explanation to Mr. Ross, including the theory of genetic elbow-related bad luck and the hypothesis of a spider infestation.
Proposed Methods of Restitution:
- Careful gluing of the fragments (although the result might end up looking like contemporary art).
- Research for a similar piece (even if it takes years).
- Additional work in any area of the mansion, including the basement and the north wing (if authorized).
- Writing commissioned love letters for anyone Mr. Ross might designate, should this help compensate for the piece’s emotional and historical value.
Final Remarks:
The undersigned deeply regrets the incident and undertakes to handle all fragile objects with both hands from this point forward, without a feather duster and without stretching her unlucky elbow. She also undertakes not to eliminate any spiderwebs without prior written authorization.
Respectfully,
Emma Craven
(Employee under contract, currently in the adjustment and survival period)
Emma reread the entire text, made a small spelling correction, and nodded to herself, satisfied. Then she lifted her eyes toward Mrs. Whitmore.