After fooling around on the forum, Shi Wei simply forgot about the student handbook. Shen Li only had a year left until graduation anyway. What trouble could a sensible, obedient model student like him possibly cause in one year?
Instead, he searched for “what new students need to bring” and bought everything on the list, item by item.
The Federal Military Academy's curriculum was actually quite flexible. Combat classes were mandatory; everything else was optional. By their third year, most students still attending theory lectures were making up credits after skipping too many classes to graduate. It was worth noting that very few students seemed to complete all their credits in the first two years.
That explained why the theory classroom had been nearly full when Shi Wei arrived. Even the illustrious top cadet, Shen Li, was stuck miserably making up credits.
Qiu He had gone to the library. He leaned toward command and strategy, which meant plenty of theory to digest. Most of the material was available on his wrist terminal, but he preferred paper books.
Alone in the suite, Shi Wei hummed as he rearranged the furniture to his liking and gradually put his belongings away. As he tucked the last piece of clothing into the wardrobe, he suddenly stumbled. Only a desperate grip on the wardrobe door kept him upright.
His face was frighteningly pale. He bit the soft flesh inside his lip until the taste of blood spread through his mouth. Forcing himself onward, he staggered into the bathroom and turned on the cold water. It struck his slender back as he curled up on the floor, his whole body shaking. The rush of water muffled his ragged breathing.
After a long while, a pale hand crept up the wall and laboriously adjusted the water from cold to hot. Rising steam blurred the exhaustion around his eyes.
When Shen Li returned, he ran straight into Shi Wei, who was wearing a bathrobe and toweling his wet hair. Without meaning to, Shen Li's gaze followed the droplets falling from its ends.
Shi Wei seemed not to notice. He greeted him naturally and headed toward his room.
“Shi Wei.”
Shen Li stopped him. “Can we talk?”
“Come in.”
Shi Wei paused and moved half a step aside. Shen Li slipped past him.
They sat on the edge of the bed, just as they had when they were children. Despite the summer heat, Shi Wei had laid down a rug. Shen Li studied his face as though looking through it into the past.
A smile seemed to be the expression that face wore most often. It had been then; it was now. Shen Li had felt dazed all day, as though they'd never been separated, as though today were nothing more than an ordinary day.
Shi Wei had been quietly devious since childhood. Whenever he caused trouble, Shen Li took the blame—and somehow enjoyed doing it. Everyone seemed to like Shi Wei. Shen Li did too.
Then one day, Shi Wei disappeared. Completely. Seeing him again, Shen Li felt something stronger than the joy of getting him back: the fear of losing him all over again.
He chose his words carefully. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Where have you been all these years?”
Shi Wei's answer was vague. “You know my father's a researcher. There was a problem at his lab, so he took me away with him.”
Shen Li opened his mouth but didn't press him. Why had all contact stopped? Why hadn't there been any news? Why had he suddenly returned? He had so many questions he never asked. All he felt was a dull ache inside.
Shi Wei leaned forward. “That's all you wanted to ask? Nothing else?”
Shen Li blushed and looked away.
“Um... Why can't I smell your pheromones?”
“Hmm. What if they're straw-blank instead of strawberry? All the name, none of the scent.”
“Huh?”
Shen Li blinked blankly, still processing the joke. Laughing, Shi Wei pinched his cheek. Apparently unimpressed with the feel of it, he switched to ruffling his hair.
“Shen Li, when one Alpha asks another Alpha about his pheromones, is he picking a fight or flirting?”
“I—I didn't mean it like that.”
Shen Li waved both hands, glanced at Shi Wei's face, then added, “Although I could mean it like that.”
“You want a fight?”
“You know perfectly well what I mean.”
Shi Wei gave a helpless little laugh. “You really like me?”
“You said you'd marry me.”
Shen Li muttered it quietly, sounding rather aggrieved.
“Shen Li. Have you ever thought about whether what you feel for me is love or fixation?”
Shi Wei sounded exasperated. For once, his tone was serious.
“It doesn't matter.”
Shen Li pulled him into an embrace and buried his face against his neck. His voice came out muffled. “Don't leave this time. Please?”
Ah. Still a child at heart.
They'd been five when they met.
To Shi Wei, Shen Li had been a child who liked to act cool. He wore a cocky expression but was easily embarrassed and very well-behaved. As for Shi Wei himself, perhaps “an innocent face and a wicked heart” summed him up. He was always playing tricks on Shen Li. It was fun to coax other expressions onto that face.
They'd grown up together and known each other inside out.
Perhaps they'd simply grown used to each other's presence. When asked, “Will you marry me when we grow up?” he'd somehow answered, “Sure.”
At an age when neither understood love, they'd promised to spend their lives together.
But he'd broken that promise.
Put that way, wasn't he rather awful?
Where Shen Li couldn't see, Shi Wei's expression darkened.
He didn't answer the plea directly.
Instead, he said, “Want to sleep here with me, little Shen Li?”
“Shi Wei, that trick doesn't work on me anymore. Fine. Let's sleep together.”
Shi Wei pushed him away. “Go take a shower.”
Shen Li looked wounded. “I showered at the training room before coming back.”
“I said go.”
They knew each other inside out, which meant Shen Li understood Shi Wei too. Whenever he wanted to avoid a question, he changed the subject. But avoidance was an answer in itself, wasn't it?
Shen Li marched indignantly into the bathroom and washed himself thoroughly all over again.
By the time he returned to Shi Wei's room, Shi Wei had changed into pajamas and fallen asleep.
Shen Li climbed carefully onto the bed. Looking at that sleeping face eased something in his heart.
Alive. Warm. Not a dream.
During their years apart, he'd come to understand his own feelings. Whatever had taken root in his heart, whenever it had begun, it was certainly more than friendship.
But why won't you lean on me a little more? I'm not the helpless child I used to be.
It was all right. Even if Shi Wei kept backing away, as long as Shen Li kept moving toward him, he'd catch up one day. If walking wasn't enough, he'd run.
“Shi Wei. Don't leave me. Don't abandon me.”
He bent to kiss Shi Wei's forehead, then took one of his hands and laced their fingers together.
The light went out.
In the darkness, Shi Wei, who should have been asleep, sighed without a sound.
Shen Li knew he was awake. And Shi Wei knew that Shen Li knew.