Xiao Die wasn't afraid of hardship. For her mom and dad, she was willing to do anything.
How many days were left until the college entrance exam? In those fleeting days, every single one felt like an endurance trial.
During self-study sessions, Xiao Die liked to listen to the cicadas chirping outside the classroom. Her classmates all kept their heads down, writing. She gazed softly at one simple, unadorned word: love.
What is love?
At eighteen, she probably still didn't understand. What she never imagined was that a person could lose the capacity to be loved—could lose it in a single, careless moment.
On a Friday afternoon, Xiao Die was in the middle of a practice exam. As she was filling in an answer sheet with her pencil, the lead snapped. Lu Na, who believed in fortune-telling, had once said that this was a bad omen.
Just as she was thinking this, the head teacher, a balding man, hurried into the classroom. He called Xiao Die outside, saying he had something important to tell her. The teacher hesitated for a long moment, then said: "Xiao Die, your mom and dad were in a car accident while they were working. They're in the hospital now, receiving emergency treatment. You should go see them."
Xiao Die was frantic. She flagged down a taxi outside the school gates and rushed to the hospital. But everything was already too late. By the time she arrived, all she could see were her parents' cold, lifeless bodies.
Xiao Die burst into uncontrollable sobs. In this world, she had no one left to lean on anymore. No more of her mother's smile, no more of her father's stooped silhouette, no more hearty breakfasts, no more of their reminders and advice. The world had turned to ash and gray. She could no longer see that clear, limpid deep blue.
Xiao Die passed by a convenience store, the scent of oden drifting out from inside. She was so very hungry. She couldn't tell if it was a hunger of the soul or a hunger of the body. She picked out several things, only to realize she had forgotten her wallet. The shop assistant was rude, saying flatly: "If you've got no money, don't come in here trying to buy food."
A crisp, brand-new hundred-yuan note was placed on the counter. A lazy male voice drifted over: "I'll pay for it." Xiao Die turned around and saw the handsome older neighbor looking at her with gentle eyes.
She was a little flustered. "I'll pay you back tomorrow," she said. Neither of them dared look the other in the eye. In the awkward silence, Xiao Die took the food and jogged all the way home. The food on her table had already gone cold. Three seats, now only one remained.
Xiao Die ate her meal, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes suddenly caught sight of a small knife on the table. A sudden impulse surged through her—the urge to end her own life. A frantic knocking came at the door. The knife slipped from her hand.
She opened the door. It was the older neighbor. Tentatively, he asked: "You said you'd pay me back. Why are you crying so hard?" Xiao Die answered, a little foolishly: "You can't see. How do you know I've been crying so hard?" Su Mosheng gave a rueful smile. "My eyes can't see, but my heart can."
The gossiping women saw Su Mosheng and Xiao Die standing together in an ambiguous pose. They muttered a few remarks among themselves, then each went home. Xiao Die said angrily: "My parents are dead, and they're still gloating over it!" Su Mosheng reasoned with her: "There's a great deal of misfortune in life. Later on, you'll meet more people, experience more painful things. So there's no need to take it all too much to heart."
Xiao Die nodded, seeming to understand but not quite. She went back into her room to get money to repay the older neighbor, wanting to ask his name at the same time. By the time she came back to the door, he had already gone home. She noticed a cardboard box at her feet, a note stuck to the top: Eating cold food and cold leftovers is bad for your health. Have a bowl of hot congee instead.
Xiao Die opened the box. Inside was the pork and century egg congee he had made. The steaming congee, on this most unfortunate of nights, brought her hope.